Let me first say that this was an email I receieved and I wanted to share it with you. It was written by a gentleman and it shares his very candid thoughts on the importance of sex in his (and what he presumes to be other mens) relationships.
As I get older, I feel the marriage pressure building. Getting sex is beginning to get harder. Not because its anything wrong with me, but because at this age (late twenties – mid thirties), women begin to start looking at you as “marriage potential.” So, whereas they would give it up on the first night, they now hold out in the hope that, you will see them as “a good girl,” worthy of wife’ing and marrying someday.
Every single man I know who is under 40 and married is cheating or has cheated on his wife. The rest of them are about to get divorced. This does not motivate me to walk down the aisle anytime in the near or distant future.
When I talk to them, it’s usually the same problem stated in various ways. They were bored or neglected sexually. With the rigors of marriage and life and kids—if they are involved—the woman tends to become consumed in other, non-sexual things. The man however is still looking to get some. I have noticed in my own relationships, that every time the woman gets mad, the first thing she does is stop having sex. It supposedly has something to do with some kind of emotional/physical connection that they have where they have to be in the right “emotional state” to want sex. Well, the only emotional state I have to be in to have sex is awake!
I have never been mad enough to not want to fuck. Just has never happened. No, sex has never been the answer to any of my problems.
Enter the side chick / hoe…
She down for whatever, whenever. She is usually single and not dealing with the rigors of your relationship or any relationship for that matter. She is always looking good because she is on the hunt. She is willing to do more for the same reason someone that doesn’t have a job is willing to do more for the job, than the person that actually has it.
It’s so exhausting keeping up with the ever-increasing, emotional demands of a woman over 25. Pressure from there careers, pressure from there friends, personal insecurities, blah, blah, blah. The more you give them the more they want. The bar for getting sex in a long term relationship just gets higher and higher. After working all day, fighting life, fighting self, fighting the world, a man does not want to come home and fight for pussy. I have a term for it. It’s called path of least resistance. I want to take the path of least resistance to getting sex at all times.
Not because I am not willing to work a little for it, but because I am too tired to work too hard. What is working to hard? Working to hard is putting any effort into something that may “possibly” get me some. I don’t want to put any effort into anything unless I “KNOW” its going to get me some pussy. If not I am working way too hard.
The side chick is going to give it to me without all that work and energy. And after a while, it starts to be more about who is giving it to me easiest, then “WHO” is giving it to me. Then there are those women who want to say, “why is everything about sex,” “my man isn’t like that,” “all men are not like that.” If you think like that, you are a typical woman, living in your typical idealistic world. If you run into a man who doesn’t have pussy and money on the forefront of his thinking, he is either, down-low, or doesn’t have job. Neither of which is something I would think is desirable. So why not just be prepared for the worst, just in case.
Why not stop searching for and hoping you will find a man that is the exception to the rule and just play by the rules. If woman would stop being so idealistic and deal with the possibility that their man is way more sexually-driven and motivated then they could ever imagine, then we could begin to work on the problem. Women choose to throw away a man when he has fidelity issues without thinking about why he may have went the other way. Maybe it had something to do with you.
But all men know women are self-delusional and always innocent. But, let’s just say in some strange alternate reality, a man cheating is the woman’s fault. If a man could talk, maybe he would say, he slept with that other woman because he was bored with you.
Would you stay with a man that had no job? Even if he treated you well? Did everything you wanted? He was a great man but could not support you financially? The answer is “HELL NO” you would not. That is about the best analogy I can give you for why men cheat. A girl that doesn’t think about her man’s sexual experience with her is like a man that doesn’t have a job. No matter how good you are in other areas, he is going to go somewhere else.
If it’s ok for a woman to leave a man that is broke in pocket, why can’t a man leave a women broke in pussy? Women have some kind of mental block that prevents them from seeing analogies like this. Every woman that just read that statement is already preparing her rebuttal for why it’s different when the women do it. But what they don’t realize is that what's different, “to them,” but not to the man. This is how a man thinks. (A straight man). And you are never going to please your man, thinking like a woman. Because your man is not a woman.
When I was younger, everyone wanted the “good girl.” He was going to mess with all the other “hoes” and save the good girl for marriage. I think this methodology has changed for several reasons.
(1) Because of the easy access to porn, men have more stimulation for there imaginations. They see and then they want.
(2) The disproportionate amount of females to males, enhancing men’s options and making women more desperate and more willing to do whatever.
(3) It ain’t getting no easier out here being a black man. Now you have to be gay to be successful. This just adds more pressure to the plight of black men.
The good girl is becoming less desirable because it takes too much energy to obtain her. Especially if a man makes a lot of money.
Women in the African American community in my opinion are very sexually repressed because of the idea that they must uphold this good girl image. You may say to yourself, well, no one is marrying the hoe. Well, no one is staying with the good girl either. And a lot of the girls I know who were hoes in high school are married now. So, what is the answer??
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Posted by: Health care | 28 December 2010 at 09:47 PM